BBWulf

I am not sure what I am doing I am grasping at the straws Hoping for a cure As my hands turn into claws No I am not a monster I have locked that man away But lately I have struggled, With who I am today My life has no direction I fall back to my routine I start to be defensive Teeth bared, I act mean It's not what I want But I am not sure how to stop How quickly one can fall When so close to the top Is this where I should be? Is this is the life I earned? Who can be a better man When so many bridges have been burned. Old vices come back quickly A false comfort that I choose Gaining simple pleasure For the humanity I lose.

Old friend you have found me. It's always when I lose. A loyal one indeed, Though not one that I choose. You are there in the dark. When searching for the light. I see a little sliver, But it glimmers out of sight. And though I could not grab it, You are by my side. Tethered for fear of loss When acting as my guide. When the light slips away And I am left in shade. Anger is all I have to say But from you peace is made. And as I stumble and I trip You help to ease my pain. All it takes is a one small sip To be warm in the rain. It is only a little burn, From your lips to mine. I know that after another turn I will feel just fine.

I never took step and left. I never let my hand wander, even in jest. Never committed heart theft. Or punched my words into your chest. I never let the flowers run dry. I never was cruel to discount your work. Never have I fed you a lie. Only truth behind my smirk. I never was short of breath Speaking sweet hoping to coax a smile. Never wanting this death. But I guess I saw it coming for a while.

I am exceeding caution Its starting to be fear With no rhyme or reason My mind becomes unclear I have been here before Which may explain my state Could the curse be real, And I just follow fate? To someone I can trust Someone to take me in Who believes that I do good That I could never sin Then something in me gives. A memory comes back. Without much of a warning I turn around and snap. I did not mean to do it, But there is nothing left to save. I did the deed and in the act Wound up digging my own grave. Once again I am at the start. Even more fearful and alone. Left to wonder for myself Is my heart to cold to own? If I dont give into

Articulation is my skill When writing on a page But all of it is lost to me When trying to fight rage. Im not sure where it starts. From vaults in my mind? That hold my insecurities And feelings of that kind. And if the vault is open, Or someone sneaks inside To see what makes me tick. And where my secrets hide Im sure they would not get it And could not do the math To see this peaceful man Is controlled by Wrath.

I am reading poems and notes Retracing memories and lost hopes Clenching photos and broken frames Looking at the mentioned names. Each word is a spark to add Driving my title closer to mad Your voice echoes, I still desire My mind catches and is set on fire. More emotion now unlocks, Digging deeper into the box. Finding things guarded by shame I try hard to extinguish the flame. I'm not sure what I thought I'd find, Keeping box on hand and mind. But even with a burning head, I know that box should of burned instead.

There is something about her I understand so well Like a world I am welcome in Though it relates to living hell Its somewhere non-existent But we call it equal ground Where waking world falls silent And our real selves our found You could call it a dream Though I pray its something more A place that I could find Love Or at least land on its shore

Your eyes are sharp as razors and never miss my stare As it looks up and down your figure,I whisper "I dont care." Then those fair cheeks flush. I cant help but grin. Between thumb and index finger, I gently take your chin. I pull you for the kiss and you tell me to behave. For anyone id fight it, but for you I am a slave. I wink my eye and laugh it off so my ego doesnt bruise. Sorry dear but I forget that you still have to choose. I gesture to the bartender and beg him for a drink. The boys and I have cigarettes so you and I can think. When I return to you, your smile warms my heart. I wish I could be yours, instead of play the part. S

Im trapped inside this rut Like spinning in the tide Im searching for the surface But it likes to run and hide I cant break down these walls These fences hold me in I beat them with my fist But never seem to win Its wearing down my will My energy goes low When the clock runs out I will have nowhere left to go Someone come and save me Im sinking in the sands Im screaming til im hoarse Im throwing up my hands Im calling out to anyone I hope that they can hear Im drowning in the world And swelling up with fear Yes I call to my savior Though do not know their name If they do not answer Who am I to blame?

I think im empty though not sure how I feel. Cant really tell if this world is real. May have gone numb but not sure for how long, I could probably die at the end of this song. This worlds gone wicked and taken my soul, I try to keep clean, at least thats my goal. Nothing is solid when leaving my lips, my brain takes vacation and reality slips. Falling now to Wonderland where pretty girls take my hand. Follow them into the flowers. Dont try to call, im gone for hours. Bring myself back to the top, how I got to the bottom, I forgot. Clamber up out of the ashes, see the liars with hero sashes. Strip them naked and take the blame, infamous is no